Though I do share ‘personal’ stories from our lives, I don’t share a lot of ‘personal’ feelings.  You know, those feelings from deep down that make you who you are.  I have always lived with the thought that sometimes you can just share too much and unfortunately that can sometimes make people look at you differently.

Well, when I saw this little write up about channeling your emotions into your writing and how it can help others as much as yourself… I thought to myself, isn’t that why I blog anyways?  A big part of my blog is about helping others!  In my case, I have chosen to write mainly about family life and living with autism but a little over a year ago, international parental child abduction also become something that I am very passionate about.  Each topic has very different meaning to me and both occupy a very different part of my life and it’s important that society is educated on both subjects.

Life… it can be a challenge and one of the biggest challenges that we deal with is change.  But change is important.  If you don’t have change in your life, I believe life becomes stagnant and boring.  If you don’t continually learn, try or experience new things, you don’t grow as a person, or a family.  We don’t always have a choice about change. Sometimes circumstances are out of our control and that is where we have to learn to ‘deal’ with those changes.

The biggest change in my life came the day that I was told that my son had autism.  That was the day my life came crashing down – at least at that time it did.  I have shared this before, and even though I already suspected what this doctor was going to tell me, it didn’t hurt any less.  At that point, my life changed… but my son had not.  He was still the same little boy that he was before I heard those words and sadly, it took me a while to realize that.  Eventually, the realization set in and I was able to move forward.

Autism, like any special need, can be incredibly difficult to manage.  The financial and emotional strains alone are unimaginable for many families, and the stress from this affects everyone in the household.  This honestly, is one of the reasons why I rely as much as I can on laughter.  I have written about this before.  It’s extremely important to me and it’s sometimes that ‘thing’ that gets me through my day.  But lately, I have had a hard time finding my laughter, and I am struggling with that.  I’m gonna be blunt here and say, yes, sometimes life really sucks!!  It’s tiring having to try to be positive all the time.  There are a lot of people that expect that from me and I sometimes think those people forget that I am only human.  It’s tiring having to fight for the simple things in life that so many others take for granted… like an education.  It’s tiring going out in public only to have people stare and make rude comments about your child and your parenting skills, when your child has a meltdown because of sensory overload.  It’s tiring having to maintain relationships outside of the family home with those that sometimes don’t ‘get it’.  It’s all tiring… and I’m exhausted!

It’s Autism Awareness Month and I am supposed to be raising awareness.  OK, so I am doing some but I am usually out doing more.  Many of my efforts this month I guess are going to be as more of an online presence, but seriously, with my blogging I do it all the time.  Education brings awareness and awareness bring acceptance, but here is MY thinking: Should I NEED to raise awareness for autism?  Shouldn’t society at this point KNOW what autism is?  They have released the latest statistics as 1 in 50 children in the US are on the spectrum!!!  Shouldn’t society BE AWARE?!?!  Should we still have to be fighting for our children’s rights at school, in programs and in society in general?  No, I don’t think we should still have to!  It’s just that simple… and right now, I am feeling just that frustrated!!   But despite my frustration with this, I bury those feelings and continue, to the best of my ability, to educate society about autism.  Why?  That’s simple – for my son!

I have a dream… I like to think it’s not too much to hope for, but one day I want my son and anyone else on the autism spectrum… or anyone else with special needs for that matter… to not have to deal with the bullying, the discrimination and the cruelness that can exist in this world.  I want acceptance and understanding… not judgments!  That is my dream… seems simple enough doesn’t it?  And yet, why does it seem so difficult to attain?